A lot of people walk into a divorce wanting to win over the other person. Divorce lawyers in Colorado will let you know just how common this mindset is. There’s some idea that you can get more points than the other person and come out on top. However, when it comes to Colorado family law, especially in the case of divorce, this definition doesn’t apply.
Instead, it’s better to walk into things wanting both people to win. This can cut down on animosity and bad feelings. It can also make the entire process a whole lot easier to get through. This article will be looking into how to be a winner in the divorce without making the other participant the “loser.”
Forget About Fair With Colorado Law and Custody
When you talk to divorce lawyers in Colorado, you’ll quickly realize that one word is more frustrating than any other. Fair. The idea that everything can be perfectly fair sets you up for failure. In many cases, flexibility is the better option. This applies to divorce just as much as it does to other aspects of life.
The reality is that no divorce is fair. It’s not fair that the marriage is ending or that a spouse is abusive or controlling. It might not seem fair that one partner climbed the corporate ladder while the other put their career on hold. It’s definitely not fair that a spouse no longer wishes to be married and you have to move on.
Instead of placing a huge focus on what is fair, instead, think about what is needed. When you fixate on the past or let feelings of hurt take the lead, negotiations can quickly sour. When you think about what fairness looks like in Colorado family law, consider what’s best for the whole family. Stop looking for ways to get back at your spouse.
Hold Back From Criticism
A lot of spouses head into divorce negotiations with a feeling of “me vs. you.” This isn’t uncommon when years of rude comments and fights may have created a feeling of resentment. However, when you want to move forward and be amicable, it’s important to hold back the criticisms and be kind.
A simple way to do this is by complimenting your ex-spouse. Notice the positive things, like that they’re doing great with the kids, staying reasonable, and bringing up important points to consider. Even if it seems small, a compliment can utterly change the discussion.
If you move into the process with criticism, this will lead to fights. It can reinforce the wrong perspective and make the Colorado family law process more costly and time-consuming. Be kind and complimentary so you can move forward and live your best life.
Know What Can Be Lost
The idea of losing might stress you out since it means having fewer assets or less money after the Colorado law and custody process. However, when all you care about is winning, there are even more important things that are at risk. For instance, time with your kids, your mental health, and your character are also important.
Saying mean things about the other parent in front of the child isn’t worth it. It’s not worth it to say terrible things on social media about the divorce. It’s also not useful to have a long battle over a small detail to feel like you have a victory. Sure, it might feel like you are winning, but that’s not true.
In Colorado family law, there’s always a cost, whether it involves time, money, or custody. You might win a battle but this form of thinking will only end up hurting you. It also shows the kids that they aren’t the focus during a stressful time. It can even cause you to lose in negotiations.
Invest in What Is Still to Come
Holding on to the things that have happened in the past can leave you trapped. When you want everyone to win in the divorce, the opposite will happen. Try to let go of the bitterness you feel. If you let anger take the wheel, you could look back and realize how much time you lost living life thinking about the past.
So what is a win-win scenario in Colorado law and custody? One where you put your time and effort into yourself and the kids. Make sure you are taking care of yourself emotionally, mentally, and physically. This helps you live the best life with contentment and confidence.
If you’re looking for divorce lawyers in Colorado, remember to stay positive as you move forward. It’s not about getting the most points or ensuring everything is “fair”, it’s about getting through things and moving forward in your life. When you focus on the future and what you and your children need, you’ll be on the right track. The legal experts at Colorado Legal Group are available to help make your divorce a win-win scenario. Contact us today at 720.594.7360 or submit a free case evaluation.